The Crux of the Bisquit is the Apostrophe

It's not Frank Zappa, that's for sure. Our personnel newsletter has this gem to help those apostrophe-challenged souls out there, but those who want a cosmic grammar lesson should go to Zappa himself:

Apostrophe (to the tune of Oh Christmas Tree)

Apostrophe, apostrophe You drive me oh so batty. Apostrophe, apostrophe Your overuse is a travesty. Some people just can’t get enough They must think you’re hot stuff Apostrophe, apostrophe Some rules to avoid catastrophe. It’s hers and theirs and yours and its when you want to possess a bit And when you need to pluralize, You don’t need to apostrophize. And what of words that end in esess? An apostrophe will only make a mess’s. I wonder why you so confuse I’m sure you’re tired of this abuse. Apostrophe, apostrophe You drive me oh so batty.