Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Abstract Dryer Painting, or Pen and Ink?

The wife tried her hand at some abstract painting and sent me some images of her work, which she has since destroyed. I'm not generally one to criticize, but using the dryer (which we use on a regular basis for laundry) seems a little impractical, and employing an entire load of blue jeans to apply the ink to the inside of the dryer also seems extravagant. If the effect here appeals to you, though, it's a relatively simple procedure to try for similar effects, though your results will vary. You'll need a dryer, several pairs of blue jeans (the wife used a mix of work and good jeans, but work jeans will probably work fine, and cleanup is easier), and a good, full rollerball pen. The wife used a brand new one the dentist gave me for Christmas. (It's best to ask, or use your own).
As a side benefit, when you do decide to edit or erase the painting you've created, the fingernail polish remover generates some powerful mind-altering effects when you apply it in the dryer drum and put your head in.
If you want more tips, contact her directly. I don't care to relate the questions; she seems a little touchy about the procedure.


Christina said...

Jackson Pollock would be proud!
My husband likes to tuck rollerball pens into his shirt pockets. I've been told (and don't believe) this is a necessary arrangement when he is working. I have washed many pen and shirt combinations, but luckily the pens haven't made it to the dryer yet.
How did the polish remover work? Perhaps Mr. Clean and his Magic Eraser could give it a try? :)

Holli said...

It contains a Jackson Polluck-ness that one can't quite achieve by human hand alone.

JN said...

I agree about the Jackson Pollock influence, sort of a high-tech, minimalist, post modern version--one color, temporary, random. Genius!

Deana said...

The splattering effect was impressive, which was why I took photographs for John. The Pollack-like work would not have been possible without him, and he, unfortunately, wasn't here to enjoy the full beauty of the moment.

For the record, if an errant pen in a husband's pocket (it seems women get by in life without carrying pens in their jean pockets) splatters not just your dryer drum , but also leaves its mark on $300 of denim, here is what you do:

#1 - Scream and cuss in general.
#2 - Scream and cuss some more as you pull each pair out and investigate for splatters.
#3 - Scream and cuss the husband as you pull the pieces of offending pen from his pant's pocket.
#4 - Scream and cuss the dentist who gave the husband the pen as you view the dryer drum.
#5 - Call Mom, the retired home ec teacher, maven of all household-related questions and ask her what to do.
#6 - Take photographs. They might be useful for your murder defense.
#7 - Follow Mom's instructions. Rub Electrosol gel (the dishwasher detergent) onto each separate ink splatter on the jeans. Rub, rub, rub, and then let it sit for a few minutes. Fill your washer up with hot water and a box of Cascade. Let the jeans soak and then go through the wash cycle. As the jeans wash, tackle the dryer drum. With heated ink on metal, it seems the Magic Eraser has met its match. The only thing that will work is fingernail polish remover. Pour it on and smear the ink around. Use lots of remover and lots of rags. Scrub, scrub, scrub, and then scrub some more. Make sure small creatures are not in the room--the fumes will send them into writhing fits on the floor--and be sure to come up for air periodically. After an hour or so, you should be able to remove most of the stains.
#7 - Place the jeans in the dryer. Take a handful of ibuprofen and go for a run. Take big gulps of fresh air, removing the chemicals from your lungs and lowering your elevated blood pressure.
#8 - A few day's later, go shopping and buy yourself a new pair of jeans--and anything else your heart desires!