Barack Obama's Inauguration Speech

Here's my version of Barack Obama's inauguration speech.
My fellow Americans, today is a robust day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "firewood", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually burn.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces blazing and roaring challenges like never before. Our economy is glowing. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for flames. Our healthcare system is fiery. If your trunk is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a woodcutter. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a axe chainsaw. But roasting together we can right this ship, and set a course for woods.

Finally, I must thank my proud family, my brave campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank Madisonians for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of warming the American people. Without your burned efforts, none of this would have been possible.

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