Saturday, April 15, 2006

Stuff for the Land Fill

What do you get if you get a new Arrow shirt? Well, let’s see. You get a bunch of crap that makes the shirt look good on the shelf, but it’s a project getting the shirt ready to wear. Check this out. Besides the big pasteboard backing, you get cardboard and plastic collar rings and a plastic unit attached to the collar button. Oh, perky, perky collar! Plus, you get the cardboard tag with the “care instructions” and the price tag. But note its nifty grommet! So it doesn’t wear out swinging from the plastic attaching cord, presumably, while it lays on the shelf. Then the little things appear—a plastic thing with a notch, a clear plastic sticker that indicates size, a little sticker on the back of the collar that also indicates size (L), and three cool paper-clip like dealies. If you look close, one side reads “Valuable,” and the other side “Handsome.” And, finally, just so you don’t forget what a danger it used to be getting a new shirt ready, there’s a stick pin in the collar. What? Just in case the collar button falls off? Finally, a sticker from Inspector 36 in the pocket who must have approved the arrangement. Maybe I should send all the crap back to Arrow just to set them straight. Posted by Picasa


P. Block said...

Do you ever find yourself questioning the verbage marketers use in the packaging of their product? The Designation of Valuable and handsom on your shirt, just who decides that the shirt is of value, and is the shirt handsome with or without you attached to it?

My favorite example, recently, of marketing silly speak is the new Gillette Fusion shaving cream can. There in bright blue writing the legend: Sensitive is writ on the first line, Sensible. It just makes me ask, "What" each time I see it.

Oh well...

Anonymous said...

I found one of those "Valuable"/"Handsome" clips at the rail station today, and spent a few minutes visualizing a self-help group who sent these things out as a means of boosting its members' self-esteem. ("Remember, every time you clip your work, you must chant "I am Valuable! I am Handsome!" at least twenty times...")

My fantasy of this bunch of psychos has, alas, been blasted. But I appreciate the enlightenment!